Lahat naman tayo nagdaan diyan...
Well, halos lahat pala
Kasi baka si Chupstogo hindi
Yes, baks!
I saw your baby pictures!
Kaya alam kong isinilang ka sa mundo complete with sash and tiara!
 |
| Chupstogo, a long long long long long long long long long time ago! |
CHAROT!
Hahaha!
Kidding aside, I believe that we all went through that phase in our lives when we first discover we were different.
Most of us will choose to keep it a secret when we first realize it because we know the world would not understand. But no matter how we suppress it, there will always be a part of us who would want to reach out and seek out those who would know and understand us for who we truly are.
So this is the story of one such experience... how I first met SailorSpade.
Una kong napansin ang haliparot sa FRCentral dahil noong first time nadiscover ng higad ang wonderful world of otokos...
HONDAMING HINADA!
Parang batang pinagkaitan ng laruan ng ilang taon tapos biglang papakawalan sa Toys R Us!
Well, that is... kung ganito ang itinitinda ng Toys R Us...
At bottomesa ang bata...
Which in this case, is true!
Charot!
Hahaha!
Pero my gas! Puti, kayumanggi, matangkad, unano, payat o mataba, walang pinalagpas ang lola ninyo basta may titi!
Char!
Hahaha!
Pero dahil naaliw ako sa kalandian albeit wa taste adventures ng alupihang dagat, nadecide kong gampanan ang long-neglected duties ko bilang ambassadress of good will and foreign affairs!
Charot!
From then on, lagi ko na siyang nakakachat at nakilala na ng lubusan hangang sa dumating ang araw na hindi na daw niya matiis at kailangan na daw niya masilayan ang beauty ko!
Well, alam naman natin na sadyang mapagbigay ang inyong Virgin Queen, kaya ginantimpalaan ko na siya ng matamis kong 'oo'!
Chos!
Nadecide namin magkita sa isang restaurant to have dinner at dahil never pa naman kami nagkita, ang usapan was uupo siya sa 3rd seat from the entrance of the restaurant
Pag-arrive ko sa entrance ng restaurant...
Hinanap ko kaagad ang 3rd seat
At dahil sure na sure ang lola ninyo na siya yung na sa 3rd seat, mega-approach kaagad ako while sashaying my hips
Nakipag eye to eye contact while batting my long eye lashes sa mamang nakaupo, sabay:
SHUTANGINAMESH!!! Mistaken identity! Mali! NAKAKAHIYA!
Nasan ang hampas lupang hindi marunong magbilang?
Aaaaayyyy! Basta ganon ganon na lang nasira kaagad ang inaalagang refutasyon!
Sasakalin ko ssssiiyyyyaaaa!
Habang namumulamula pa ang fez ko dahil sa dinanas na kahihiyan dulot ng salot na hindi ata pumasa ng 3rd grade mathematics, nagscout na ako sa paligid ng mga possible candidates na maaring maging si SailorSpade
May napansin akong wafung lalaki sa 4th seat ng restaurant
Nakayuko at mukhang kinakabahan
Siya nga ba yun?
Parang cannot be!
Masyadong lalaki. Ang tigas kung gumalaw...
Eh medyo konti lang naman ang tao sa restaurant at siya na ang next most geographically compatible from the agreed point of meeting, kaya nagpasya na ako...
So batting my eyelashes once more
ManilaSpanatic: [In faux musculine deep voice] Ehem ehem, pareng Sailor?
Ngumiti pabalik ang otoko
Ang lakas ng sex appeal ng loka!
Para akong inalon ng sex appeal!
ETO NA!!! Eto na ang papakasalan ko!!!
Napatawad ko kaagad ang kanyang inability na mag 1 + 1!
Char!
Hahaha!
Pero of course, hindi na ako nagpahalata sa aking love at first sight at na maintain ko pa din ang poise at lady-like persona
Buti na lang at hindi niya sinilip ang ilalim ng mesa at baka masight niya umaapaw na ang marshland!
Chos!
Hahaha!
Actually, dapat pala nagpasalamat na ako at sumipot siya
Dahil may balak palang indianin ako ng higad princess!
Shokot na shokot pala siya na baka dumating ako na naka wig, eyelash extension at evening gown!
Maswerte na lang pala at hindi niya natiyempuhang may evening gala sa Buckinghum Palace ng gabing iyon!
Char
Pero buti na din that he came to his senses and avoided the utter disaster and reputational ruin that will befall his name for standing up royalty!
Charot!
Hahaha!
Pero kung sakaling nadecide niyang hindi pa siya handa sa aking beauty at magback out, I think I would have understood him.
Because meeting SailorSpade was a gentle reminder of how it was for all of us when we first came out.
You see, we've all been there.
The feeling that you don't quite fit in. That you somehow don't belong. And if you could bury this part of you a secret as long as you lived, you would have.
But buried secrets have a way of creeping up to the surface, especially one that is fundamentally a part of who you are. Then you begin to feel this particular restlessness, that somehow your life feels incomplete because how could it feel otherwise if no one knows completely who you are.
So you start to reach out and look for another soul that could understand, all the while struggling with the fear that comes with the realization that taking this step, coming out to someone, is a point of no return. Because letting someone know your secret carries a certain sense of finality. All of a sudden, the secret becomes real, it becomes tangible, and should you regret it, you have already lost the opportunity to take it back and hide it forever.
Of course, to a lot of us, the nagging need to express who we truly are eventually wins out our need to keep up with appearances and hide from the world. So we overcome our fears and tell the world "take me for who I am!"
As for me, it happened such a long time ago that I have already forgotten how hard it has been and my friendship with SailorSpade is a welcome reminder that to some, the struggle is ever present.
Overcoming this hurdle does not happen for everyone. To some, the fear of the unknown and uncertainty is just too great to risk taking the road less traveled. Maybe they simply have a different circumstance in life from yours, or maybe they simply lack the courage. I know that a lot of us will not understand why they could not do what we have done.
But perhaps the point is not to understand, but to remember... to remember how it was before we came out.
So 4 years into the friendship at nasa closeta pa din ang malanding paminta
But then again, it doesn't matter
Because we understood his situation, respected his decision and are glad that found people he could show this side of him
So the rest of the world , this is what he may show
Pero para sa amin nakilala na talaga siya
He will forever be...
Chos!
Disclaimer: I count myself lucky for meeting my best friend through these kind of meet ups but I have met my fair share of rotten to the core bad bad bad apples. So be careful dahil hindi lahat ng diwata mababait.
