Denmark... not so on the mark

Hmmm... out of practice... out of practice... Ok! Let's start. :)

I guess I do have a certain type and unfortunately, they are hard to come by. So whenever a model does meet the minimum benchmark and manages to capture my attention, I give them a try, despite what were previously written about them. Sometimes, the gamble pays off, sometimes, it does not. But we all have an itch that needs to be scratched, and for the moment, that itch is named Denmark.

Pre-negotiations: Ay sus ginoo! Setting up a schedule with this fellow was excruciatingly difficult. I had to invoke both Presidente and Kapitan X to finally convince the guy that I was a legitimate client. And even then, agreeing on the time and location for the meet almost snapped my patience into a million pieces. He had a set time, date and location that he insisted, and I, his humble servant, had no choice but to comply. I had to chant my calm, relaxing mantra to keep a cool composure:

Pink nipples... pink nipples... pink nipples... pink nipples...

Punctuality: Forced into submission because of the unrelenting itch, I decided to follow the rigid schedule of the self-important buffoon. I was hands at the ready thirty minutes before his appointed schedule and thought that since he insisted the time and place for the meet, he would at least have the courtesy to be on time. Hah! Boy, was I wrong! 10 minutes... 20 minutes... 30 minutes... 45 EFFING MINUTES!!!

Must... chant... mantra...

Pink nipples... pink nipples... pink nipples... pink nipples...

Appearance & Demeanor: Aaahhh! I have to admit, the sight of him was enough to quell a raging fire. He was adorable, jovial and overall, a dish waiting to be savored for its every flavor. His skin was as soft and smooth as a baby's bottom and his built was a sexy V-shaped torso with naturally formed bulk, and not the artificially induced muscle hypertrophy from an over enthusiastic use of steroids. 

Unfortunately, that was the climax of our meeting. From here on out, it was a slow sleigh ride to hell. 

Massage: Congratulations! Someone finally beat John for the worst massage delivered ever! His strokes had no purpose, no depth, no enthusiasm. It felt like worms were scattered across your back, and the squiggling was passed off for an hour of massage. But wait, did it even last an hour? More like a quarter of an hour. He leaned on my back and started licking my spine. It was the signal of the end of an abysmal massage.

ES: Baka naman bumawi dito! Hihihi! The start of the ES showed promise. He was not afraid to run his lips throughout almost your entire body. I wanted to reciprocate the gesture so I asked him to lie down and I was ready for a performance of a lifetime. 

CHOS! HAHAHA!

His skin was really his best feature. I could still feel the softness under my fingerpads. Time to dive in. Hihihi! So invoking the refresher course after my ordeal with Jhoross, my head was bobbing at maximum speed. 

Up down up down up down up down...

Teka, nahihilo na ako! Bakit hindi pa tumatayo yan?!?!?!?

"Sir, hindi talaga ako tinitigasan... kasi straight ako!"

...

...

...

PINK NIPPLES... PINK NIPPLES... PINK NIPP**... AH! TO HELL WITH IT!!!

"Bakit hindi mo sinabi sa akin! E di sana nagdala ako ng ganito."

  Set IV fluid rate to 80gtts per minute! 

Anak ng tokwa!!!


Overall: My friend Tony once told me that being a model is not an easy task. It requires special talent to be able to rise to an occasion when the situation calls for it. Given the physical limitations he was unwilling to remedy, perhaps he should not offer his services to hopeful clients. 

How is the chameleon?

Look at my face!

Will I come back for seconds? Haha! I have a better solution for an itch:

CHOS!