The Spas of Middle Earth! Chos!

During one of our afternoon tea get-together with pareng SailorSpade...

MS: Sister! I have missed you! My my! Tumataba ka ata. Nakakataba din pala pag araw araw kang umiinom ng shomod! Sino nanaman ang mapalad na otokong nakatanggap ng pa-monthly starlight membership grant mo sa Mobile Legends?


SS: Sister, wala nga e! I'm so sad. Kaya nga lahat na lang tinitikman ko, pero hindi ko pa din mahanap si one true love!


MS: [Buti na lang wala pang nagkakamali!] Sister, don't be sad. I'm sure dadating din yan!


Char!


Hahaha!


SS: Anyway sis, ang tagal nanamang walang update ang blog. 


MS: Teh! Ano naman ang magagawa ko? May lumitaw na ba na bagong gwapo na otoko?


SS: Sabagay, wala pa nga naman. Pero paano yan? Matagal na kayang nakatengga ang blog.


MS: Well sis, hindi naman kasi napipilit yan. Alam mo naman na pihikan ang lola mo. 

Ruining your childhood once more! 
Char! Hahaha!

MS: Afterall, we all can't be like you na kahit sino sino na lang ang pumapasak!


SS: Bastarda ka talaga!


MS: Ay sis! Echos lang! Oh eto, one lump or two?


Hahaha!


Pero my point si sisterette and madami na ding lumalabas na bagong otoko sa Facebook. Baka hindi lang sila photogenic kaya I've decided to finally grace them with my presence and see them in the flesh!


Yayayain ko sana si pareng SailorSpade pero he is still under the illusion na discreet siya, so I've decided to bring along my old [emphasis on the old] trusty sidekick... este partner in crime... Tony!

MS: Vaks! Tara! Maghasik na uli tayo ng lagim sa Kamias-Kamuning!


Tony: Baket? Bilog na ba uli ang buwan?


MS: Grabe ka naman, sis! Ano ako? Manananggal?


Tony: Teh, kung manananggal ka, wala atang pakpak na kaya kang paliparin!


Maldita talaga ang mashonda na ire!


I like bringing Tony to these pilgrimages kasi sikat na higad ang gaga, kaya minsan nakakasagap ako ng chismax habang nakikichika siya with his amiga managers.


So sinundo ko na ang matrona sa Hilom at sinumulan na namin ang pagsalakay so buong Middle Earth... este Hada World!


First stop! JRK Celebrity!


JRK Celebrity: 

Ghost Town

My gas! 


Nasaan ang mga boys? 


Naubos ata.


Bakit tatatlo lang itey?


Hindi man lang ako nawet kahit konti!


Parating pa lang daw ang gusto kong masightsung na si Max


Kaso naman!


Do they really expect royalty to wait?


Char


Oh well, JRK, better luck next time.


Touch of Delight: 

Petting zoo

Ahihihi!


Yan actually ang gusto ko sa Touch of Delight, nakakalat lang ang mga boys sa likod ng gate na mukhang cage, accessible at ready ma-pet basta maabot ng kamay mo!


Hahaha!


Speaking of petting, nasaan si fafa Jelson?


Hindi pa din ako nagsasawang harrass-in... este i-pet ang otokong ito


But I must control myself


Kailangan ng new material ang blog! 


Hihihi!


Albury: 

Afghanistan

Homaygulay?


Ano ang nangyari dito?


Basag ang front glass window... sira sira ang pader... nabubulok na ang furniture... mainit tila sira ba ang aircon?


Nagkaroon ba ng palarong Hunger Games ang spa na itey at ang prize ay ang aking hand in marriage?


Kung ganon, I understand why the boys fought so fiercely!


Afterall, worth it ang prize!


Chos!


Hahaha!



Gently Touch: 

Mordor

What in the name of @#$%&! 


Bakit ganito ang amoy ditey?


Hindi kinaya ng nostrils ko ang amoy na parang volcanic ash!


Nagpasya na lang kami ni Tony na mahirap atang sumubo ng boys habang naka gas mask kaya hindi na kami nagtagal!



Homme Spa: 

Lothlórien

One look at the roster of men here and you would know na angat ang mga boys dito


Well... angat din ang presyo...


Which is why I tend to avoid visiting this spa


But one by one the men came out and introduced themselves to us and unti unting nawewet ang aking marshland!


Then finally, "he" came out...

And I knew the search was over.


He stood at 5'9 tall. Chinito, cute, clean-looking and what a body! 


When I go to these pilgrimages with Tony, I usually let him do all the talking while I remain silent by his side like a chick hiding behind its mother hen. But at that moment, something shifted, and I did most of the talking. 


I asked him to lift his shirt to get a preview of what's behind the white T-shirt that is so stretched, it is practically screaming for mercy. He hesitantly lifted the T-shirt upto his chest, and I felt my mouth gasp for air. There they were, two muscular mounds of flesh, waiting to be grabbed by willing hands.


He introduced himself as Troy in a baritone to bass voice. It was manly yet there was a softness to it. He was not arrogant. He was friendly.


How in the world did I miss this guy? I was so self-assured that there will be no surprises that night. After all, everything could be viewed through Facebook and FRCentral in the comforts of a handheld device. And yet there we were, before our eyes, a hidden gem. 



Handa na actually ako kaladkarin siya palabas kaso...


Tony: Teh! Wag muna! Ang royal duties! Kailangan tapusin!


MS: The what now?!?!?


Echos! 


Fine! FINE! 


For the sake of completion, kailangan tapusin muna ang pilgrimage!


So with a heavy heart, I said good bye to Troy with a promise that I shall return!

Huhuhu! Ang bigat sa puso!


The things I have to sacrifice for the sake of bekilandia!


Chos!


Sa sobrang excitement, chinika ko kaagad sa aking other BFF (Now ex-BFF! Chos!), si Vince/dhalfacedguy, na may natipuhan ako sa Homme Spa. 


A mistake that I would come to regret later on...


But let's get on with it!


Jenyan Spa: 

Jurassic Park

Hindi na ata nagevolve ang line up ng spa na itey!


Noong Jurassic era ko pa sila nakikita!


This spa has literally been frozen in time.


Destiny Charm Spa: 

Tramway Buffet

Keri kung gutom na gutom ka at gusto mo lang magpabusog at kebs ka na kung ano ang sinusubo mo!


Eaglenest Spa: 

Post-apocalyptic Nuclear Wasteland

Hmph!


You are still dead to me!


96Essensa: 

Tolkien's Woodland Realm

Well, aside sa mapapansin ninyong wood na wood ang thema ng spa na ito, you would also notice that other than Homme Spa, 96 Essensa also has men who are cut above the rest.


Para silang mga elves


Yung sa Lord of the Rings ah! Hindi kay Santa Claus!


Hahaha!



Touch of Green: 

Divisoria

Enough said.




Aaaaayyyy! Sa wakas!


Natapos din ang royal duties!


Sinipa ko na palabas ng hada mobile si Tony, nagtapon ng 50 pesos na pang taxi niya pauwi


Chos!


Haha! Of course hindi ko ginawa yun. 


Mabait kaya ako sa friends ko! 


Lalo na sa madadaming anda!


Charaught!


Hahaha!


Hinatid ko muna si bff and thanked him for graciously accompanying me.


Tapos lumarga na papuntang Homme Spa!


Troy! Wait for me! I'm cummmiiinngg!!!


Hihihi!

But that's for another blog post... so to be continued ang peg


So there, especially sa mga tanong ng tanong, this is what I think of the spas along Kamias-Kamuning-E.Rodriguez circuit.


What about Hilom?


Hahaha


Well, obviously, saan ba nagsimula sa Fellowship of the Ring ang journey through Middle Earth?


Eh di sa...


Hilom:

Rivendell

Hahaha!


Ohdevah! Bongga!


Pero mga sisterettes, I have to disclose...


May nakatutok na patalim si Tony sa likod ko habang sinusulat ko ito!


Chos!