Naughty

Appearance: Haaayyy! Ang gandang lalaki pala. The photos released by Uranus Spa and the ones from his incredibly short stint in LP before (2 hours!!! Nakakaloka! Hahaha! He may very well hold the record for shortest duration of stay in that site!) never really appealed to me. Truthfully, it was the fondness of our fellow bekis and the remarkable following he had even during his long hiatus were what piqued my interest to finally set a meeting with the famed Kahlil. And... I think the fame was well-deserved. Haller! Just look at the photos! Hihihi! Now, I understand why El Presidente was kicking himself when Kahlil left so suddenly.

Punctuality: We agreed to meet at 9pm. He came right on the dot in his motorcycle.

"Please bring that motorcycle helmet with you!"

Hihihi!!!

Attitude: Ang kulit kulit kulit kulit kulit! Hahaha! If you had read his thread, you would have noticed that most of the complaints posted against him were about the difficulty in establishing contact and setting up an appointment, but the ones that have met him have an undeniable fondness of him, which is understandably so. Kahlil was very charismatic. It does not take long for him to warm up and soon you find yourself regaled by stories of his "kakulitan". I think we would have chatted all night if I had not taken my clothes off to signal my intentions:

"Enough talk. Let's fight! Shapapui!!!"

Haha!

Char!

Massage: Hahaha! What massage?!?! He tooked off his clothes, climbed beside my bed then hid under the sheets! Then slowly brought down the blanket so only his eyes peered through.

"Sir, first time ko po! Dahan dahan lang po!"

Ang kulit kulit kulit kulit kulit kulit kulit kulit!!!

Hahaha!

That present we bekis are so eager to unwrap: Fat! And the length reaches half an inch below the belly button.

ES: Kahlil's ES is rather tame. He is not laila dee and will work during his time but Fiance Zobel and I have been comparing notes and we both agree that JD works harder and gives a little more in ES than Kahlil. But with that being said, I think this part of our conversation should be noted:

Fiance Zobel: I am meeting Kahlil this Thursday ah!

MS: Kailan mo last nakuha si JD?

Fiance Zobel: Matagal na... hindi ko na maalala.

MS: Oh! Akala ko ba "JD works harder?"

Fiance Zobel: Eh teh!!! Hindi ko din maintindihan!!!

Hahaha!

As I have said, he is charismatic.

Overall: We all have different thresholds and criteria for satisfaction which could perhaps explain the discrepancies between FRs and personal experiences. In that regard,  I think it would be best to identify which FR writer you could most identify with and who shares your threshold for satisfaction. I, for one, am fairly easy to please and prioritize looks above all else. So with that in mind, I am happy with my Kahlil experience.

Will I come back for seconds? Hmmm... let's look at some of his other photos.

Okay... dalawang kamay naman!

Hahaha!

Yes!

How is the chameleon?

Happy

Addicted

I would like to formally introduce my new husband!


Children pending...


Chos!


Hahaha!


Haist!


"Wala pa bang update, madam?"


Thank you, loyal readers, for always anticipating the next entry. While being asked the same question again and again does put an enormous amount of pressure on my delicate shoulders, I simply refuse to update the blog for the sake of updating. But rest assured, your hada queen does not reign over her kingdom while sleeping; I am always lurking in the dark, prowling for a new unsuspecting victim.


Hahaha!


It is becoming increasingly difficult to find the inspiration to write. I usually derive my inspiration from the lingering euphoria that comes after a great experience, and unfortunately, that no longer comes by so easily. No one seems to make their mark anymore; no one could provide a lasting impression. Most become fleeting memories that blur with the passage of time. So when someone finally steps in like a soft glimmer that shines over the casting shadows, you feel glad to discover that inspiration has been there all along, waiting for the chance to be awaken. 



Punctuality: Well... we agreed to meet at around 8:30pm. He arrived at 6:45pm!!! 


NAKAKALOKA!!!


Kuya, excited much???  


Hindi pa ako naliligo! Hindi pa ako nagmamake up!


Paano na ang concealer? Ang face powder? Lipstick? Eye shadow? Eye liner? Blush on? Bronzer? At ang false eye lashes?


Aaaaayyyy! Makikita ni kuya ang tunay kong anyo!


Wala ng choice! 


He just has to love me for who I am!


Char!


Naiimagine ko tuloy ang hayop na nakita ni kuya sa loob ng hada mobile.

ManilaSpanatic: Don't look at me... I am hideous!


Jaypee: Sir, mukha naman po kayong mabango...


So the lesson for the day: Remember girls, when you are not your usual fabulous self, hide under the cover of darkness... and let your inner beauty shine!!!


Hahaha!


Attitude: He comes across a little weird in text messages, especially if he has not met you before. It's as if he has no filter and says the first thing that pops into his head. In person, however, he is...Purrfect! Hihihi! Shy, careful and a little soft-spoken at first and yet he managed to establish a connection. His attitude was the perfect moderation in contrast to the contrived over-friendly disposition or the stoic non-chalant all-business demeanor others have shown. A conversation with him can last for hours and yet feel that only minutes have flown by. 


Appearance: Jaypee's facial features are not I would call 'classically handsome'. He is cute, but it still boils down to whether he falls into your type or not. But all doubts were put to rest after he took off his clothes, and suddenly I found myself kowtowing on the floor.

Oh-em-gee!!! His skin is milky cream that feels like silk that slides to the touch. He has a wide upper torso and deliciously round protruding man-breast that peaks to wide-set pink nipples. Waist still had hints of baby fat but are actually nice to hold; it actually gave me an option as to what my fingers feel like touching for the moment. If I wanted to hold something hard, I grab his chest. If i wanted to feel something soft, I slide to his waist. Ayyiii! I don't think my hands left his body during the entire duration he was with me! Hahaha! 


Massage: No massage! Kebs! Hahaha!


The beki pacifier: Grower! At full mast, it was above average with a slightly thicker middle shaft and a tapering glans. Very nice to... ummm... chew! Hahaha!


ES: A gentle lover. He nuzzled on my chest as if seeking warmth from the cold room. Then his arms wrapped around my torso as he began to suck my nipples. My hands held his head pushing his kisses deeper into my chest. I bring his face towards mine and he lands a few kisses on my lips. He then began to nibble my lower lip and then slides his tongue into my mouth. His kisses were passionate and tender and his breath was mint fresh. Slowly, he slid down to explore the rest of my torso. He moves further down and removes the last vestiges of my clothing and kisses what is underneath. He goes down further my thighs and nibbles my knees.


Jaypee: Mas makinis ka pa kay Rosanna Roces.


ManilaSpanatic: Gaga! Siya ba ini-imagine mo ngayon?


Hahaha!


I asked him to lie down and took a step back to appreciate his entirety. I leaned in and kissed his lips and went to his neck then his nipples. I raised his arms and dove in to the hairless pits and I knew I hit his soft spot as he started moaning soft ooohhss and aaahhhss. From there I kissed the sides of his chest, then his navel then further down. My tongue licked his groin but I left his manhood untouched for now. I went further down to his thighs then to his knees and again, I was alarmed of another soft spot as he starts convulsing from the sensation. I then spread his legs apart and began to employ what my friends have called the "washing machine" technique. He then leaned his head, arched his back in total surrender as cum fountains from his dick. 


So how is the chameleon?

Happy

Will I come back for seconds? Well... ummm... that was our first meeting.


This was our second.

And another second!!!

Hahaha!

Aaaayyy!!! I am sorry fellow beks kung na-solo ko siya lately.

Alam niyo naman na when you are ovulating...

EVERY MOMENT COUNTS!

Char!

Hahaha!

P.S. Thank you hotndiscreet for making the meeting possible. 

Revisit

I've been hearing a lot of comments that Jhoross looks hot right now, so I've decided to pay him a visit.

ManilaSpanatic: Now! Pose for me! Hahahaha

Jhoross: Pwede na ba yan, sir?

ManilaSpanatic: Sus! Nahiya ka pa! Parang wala tayong pinagsamahan! Ibaba mo pa!

ManilaSpanatic: Purfect! Hihihi!

Jhoross: Ito talagang si sir, ano ano ang pinapagawa sa akin... ano naman ang gagawin ko sayo?

ManilaSpanatic:... ... ... wag po!!!

Hihihi!

Black out!

Dahil sa black out na dinulot ni bagyong Glenda, napilitan nanaman ang inyong Hada Queen maghanap ng tutuluyan.



Pero, op corz, bilang isang purita lavandera by day, hindi na ako umasang magkakasya ang budget ko sa isang five star hotel.



Receptionist ng Shangri-la: "We are sorry, but angking ganda is not a recognized currency."



MS: "Well! I never...!!!" 



Taas noo! Sabay walk out!



Charaught!



Hahaha!



Nagcheck-in na lang ako sa isang no-frills hotel, sa Tune Hotel.



No-frills meaning basic amenities lang pero sa presyong abot kaya.

Nandiyan naman ang all the necessities.



Tulad ng aircon at ang kama...

Ang shower at ang kama...

Ang toilet at ang kama...

Yez! Importante ang kama! Hihihi!



Aba! Konti na lang naman at parang na sa swank hotel na din ang feeling. You just have to bring a few things on your own.



Tulad ng mini bar...

At mini cooler complete with thirst-quenching refreshments...

And of course....

Your own personal British butler!



Pero minus the British...



And minus the butler...



Minus na din ang clothes!



But still with all around excellent service!



Oh! Meron ba niyan sa five star eklavu ninyo?



Hahaha!



Char!

Otoko: "Come to superman!"



MS: "My hero."



"But don't touch the mini bar!"



Hahaha



Chos!



FR to follow.

The Economics of Hada

Lately, there was a controversy about the price increase of model X from Datu. So I have decided to introduce the concept of the "Hada Graphs" to better illustrate the dynamics of service, looks and economics.

So please bear with me. I will be using these two graphs from now on in FRs.

Hihihi!

Graph 1. Level of Performance vs. ES Fee

The first graph is what I would call the "Level of Performance vs. ES Fee" graph which shows the direct relationship between the two variables. 

The yellow curve line is the happiness curve. Anything that goes in the area under the curve makes the general population "happy", while those that go above makes the general population "unhappy".

A curve was used instead of a straight line because, let's face it, there is exponential increase in ES fee with level of performance in the beginning, but eventually the relationship plateaus. They can't go around asking for more money infinitely, am I right?

HAHAHAHA!!!

This is Model X's graph before the price increase. Given the level of performance he can provide, which is mediocre, an asking fee of 1.5k may be pushing it but still falls on the line and can therefore still render the general population "happy".

This is Model X's graph after the price increase. His plot now goes above the happiness curve. This goes to show that he simply can not increase his price given the same level of performance because this makes the general population "unhappy".

Hahaha!

Now, service is not the only measurement that matters. Appearance, sex appeal and overall X-factor sometimes play an even bigger role. It depends on the type of consumer you are. I believe that there are two kinds of clients: the service-inclined or the looks-inclined. Of course each of us have varying degrees of both but usually we place more value in one or the other, which explains the creation of the two graphs. The service-inclined may concentrate more on the first graph while the looks-inclined may give more attention to the second.

Graph 2. X-Factor vs. ES Fee

This is the second graph which I will call the "X-Factor vs. ES Fee" graph. This graph compares looks and how they charge their price. Models will be classified into E, D, C, B, A, and S.

I put the cap at 3k because I have observed that this is the most a model can push for and only in very special circumstances will they still thrive after this barrier has been breached. Also, this is not a dictation of their prices, this is merely what I have observed on how they charge their fee. It is also what I have observed from consumers whether they feel they were overcharged or not. 

Take note that these only pertains to masseurs. Varsity players and actors are not included.

Graph 2.1 X-Factor vs. ES Fee with corresponding asking fee

Model classification "E"

   Think blessedblessedcain! Hahaha! Char! Models in this category are only considered in the following conditions: 1. The Earth just suffered an apocalyptic event. You are hungry and in desperate need for any kind of sustenance so you grab at any "meat" you can find. 2. The performance is so fantastic that you are sent to the moon and back, enough to forget the misshapen creature that sent you to orbit. 200 to 500.

Model classification "D"

   Models in this category are not bad-looking, but they are not handsome either. They are the ones you will not go out of your way to get, but may be considered if it is at your convenience. 1k to 1.5k

Model classification "C"

   This is where debate whether a model is good-looking or not begins. These are the ones that after looking intensely for a while, you discover "Hey! He's actually cute!" They are not the head-turners, but after awhile, you notice their hidden charms. 1.5k to 2k

Model classification "B"

   These are the models capable of catching your attention in the sea of choices. They are generally good-looking. The only question is whether they fit your taste or not. Models that may have been classified higher but fell short for some reason such as an out-of-shape body, reggie tool size or height less than 5'8 also belong in this category. 2k to 2.5k

Model classification "A"

   Universal appeal. They have the face, height, body and tool size. They are the ones capable of commanding the ceiling price because they have it all. 2.5k to 3k.

Model classification "S"

   The outliers or the anomalies. These are models that breach the ceiling price, yet the queue never ends because of an undeniable X-factor. Models in this category are extremely rare. But it also does not mean that they are the best choices, because sometimes, they can fill you with buyer's remorse. Above 3k.

Model X is what I would consider a Class B model, because, true enough, he is good-looking and easily noticeable from the crowd, but he does not have the universal appeal. These models usually ask for a 2.5k rate, so he falls well within the area under the graph and may render most "happy".

Now it becomes a toss up:

Will appearance or performance prevail? Are you willing to forego performance over appearance? Or simply put, does he make you "happy" or "unhappy"?

Hahaha!

But just because a model may charge a given price, it does not mean it is smart to seek the maximum. For instance, if Model X were to maintain his original pricing, then his mediocre performance becomes passable, but observe what happens to his X-Factor graph.

The shaded portion is what I would call the "Satisfaction Surplus". It is the discrepancy between theoretical ES fee and actual ES fee. In layman's term, it is the feeling of satisfaction a consumer feels when he perceives that he had the better end of the bargain and overall, feels a higher level of satisfaction. It is like purchasing a Rolex watch for the price of a G-shock. Of course, the larger the difference between theoretical ES fee and actual ES fee becomes, the higher their value for money also becomes. Most masseurs are forgetting that the higher their value for money becomes, the higher the customer satisfaction they can provide and in effect, the more they are sought, especially since the concept is sorely missing in this industry. This is how they can keep their competitive edge. It is the notion that they should strive for. In the end, it is what will keep them relevant.

I hope I have not scrambled everyone's brains too much!

Hihihi!

That's it for now.

P.S. A reminder that these graphs are on the go general assessments because sometimes as you spend time with the masseur, his X-factor may increase or decrease. 

Thank you to Tony, owner of blog businessman-2-man and alena_gosiengfiao, owner of blog Goddess Alena for your valuable inputs. 

Chupstogo

There are a few bloggers that I truly admire. And in my admiration, sometimes I like to experience using their style of telling a story. This is why some of my entries are reminiscent of the great miss chuniverse, who's wit and sense of humor remains unparalleled. Another is Chupstogo. So this next FR is written in the style of his talent. 

This is how I came about meeting my latest conquest:

Hihihi!

Back to reality!

Appearance: Hay gwapo! Probably the most good-looking in Datu's line-up. He looks like a goon in the photos uploaded by Datu, but make no mistake, the guy looks very decent in person. 

Attitude: Mabait, but then again, baguhan. Rey was not kidding when he texted that the guy was fresh from the province. And very fresh indeed. He is still full of that charming probinsyano-naivete and has yet to learn the ropes of living the city life.

Massage: Uulitin ko: Baguhan! Haha! Do not expect to feel relaxed from the massage. He is still learning the skills of the craft. And there were instances when the massage gets too painful.

MS: Aray aray! Masakit!!! Masakit!!! [Looks at Jigz]

Jigz: [Smiles with perfect teeth]

MS: OK ok... carry on.

MS: Ouch ouch! Wag diyan! Wag diyan! [Looks at Jigz]

Jigz: [Smiles again with perfect teeth]

MS: Ok ok... you're forgiven.

Char!

But he did try to make it up with sincerity. Yes... 1 hour and 45 minutes of sincerity! Kaloka! I thought the massage was never going to end. 

Hihihi!

That which every masseur will be measured with: BIG! as in BIG! and curves to the left.

ES: Uulitin ko ulit: Baguhan! Do not expect anything at all! The guy has only been in Datu for a week and has no experience in other MPs. I was the 3rd client to avail of his ES, Chupstogo was the 2nd. The guy was literally still shivering with fear. I feel like such a rapist. There were instances when my tongue reaches areas I know none of his girlfriends from the past, present or future will ever reach and his body starts convulsing, his eyes closes, his bites his lips and lets out an involuntary "aaaaahhhh!"

Overall: I do understand why Chupstogo felt a closeness to the guy. His innocence is genuine. His smile still untainted. 

Will I come back for seconds? Sure, why not. But next time, I want to be the rapee!

Hihihi!

Now, no Filipino movie is complete without a scene of two bitches going at each others throats...

So... sa muling pagkikita namin ni Chupstogo:

Hahaha!

Mama Rey is the manager of Datu Spa. Thank you for helping me out with Jigz. And... peace tayo ah. :)

To Chupstogo: GRABE!!! Ang hirap pala gumawa ng ganito! Hahaha! I have always known you are talented, but after trying your style of conveying your story, I have a new found respect for you! This imitation of your craft is my sincerest way of saying "Ang galing mo!" Hahaha

Now for the not-so Miss Universe response: AT NAKAGANTI NA DIN AKO FOR BEING A CONSTANT SUBJECT NG MGA BEKI COMICS MO! HAHAHAHA!

The Spa Experience

Well... hehe...

I am no self-proclaimed expert on the massage parlor experience. After all, I have only been acquainted to this world for such a short short period of time. 

Char! 

But I'll try my best to share whatever knowledge I have garnered and perhaps this entry could provide an insight or two and help turn a could-be frightful experience into a pleasant one. 

It is only natural to feel fear when we try new things. When we have so little knowledge of the inner workings of a system, we feel we have little control of the variables and the events that could happen and the experience may not flow in the direction we wish it to course through. It is this loss of control from where our fear stems from. So hopefully this article could help arm you with enough knowledge and help lessen the fear that cripples us. 

Tip #1: Act with confidence

Masseurs, well generally everyone, tend to measure every person they meet for the first time and classify them into stereotypes. When one appears meek and timid, we give the impression that we know little, and masseurs then assume that they can set the parameters of the service, therefore gaining the upper hand. Sometimes in our attempt to appear confident, we act snobbishly. That is also not advisable. New masseurs may feel alienated and give sub par service. Veteran masseurs will see right through it. Acting with confidence means entering the room as if you are entering the doors of your home. 

Kaya ako, pag pumapasok ng spa, ganito ang peg ko:

CHOS!

You have to be comfortable with your own skin, as well as your surroundings. Talk with enough force behind your voice. Smile with slight mischief and not with innocence. This way, you keep the masseur on their toes. After all, when you appear to have enough experience to gauge their performance, they have to surpass what others have done. In that way, the ball is always in your court. 

Tip #2: Timing

Once you have established that you are alpha bitch, mamasan will then present her pride and joy. Usually 10 to 15 of them! Hahaha! But that depends on the day you decide to visit the spa. Spas have the most number of show-ups from Thursday to Saturday. And to get first pick, start shopping between 7pm to 8pm. By 10pm especially on Fridays, the pick of the litter are either on house calls or are already exhausted that they no longer show themselves to visitors. 

Tip #3: The right masseur

Masseurs are either paraded in front of you, in batches when too many, or they stand behind an aquarium with a slit where you could peer through at your own pace. Of course, I prefer the latter. Choose carefully. Ask the masseurs to step forward if you have doubts and the lighting may illuminate your decision. Sometimes, but do not abuse this privilege, you may ask the masseurs to remove their top, so you may see what you are getting yourself into. Pick two or three who's appearance have whetted your appetite and ask for their names. Now, time for a little more digging.

The right masseur is a marriage of appearance and performance, and that is where it gets tricky. You have two options at this point, either ask the mamasan or read online sources such as blogs or forums. 

Source #1: Mamasan

The mamasan is a valuable source of information, especially when they are forthright. Unfortunately, that is not always the case. You may ask them for size, services they can offer, limitations or general attitude but you have to understand the politics behind spa doors. Mamasans tend to push masseurs that they have a good relationship with, and that is established when masseurs give in to requests of mamasans or when they provide a cut of their earnings. Sometimes, they also tend to push masseurs they have a love interest with. These are issues that should be put into consideration when heeding the advice of mamasans. 

Source #2: Blogs and forums

Blogs are another rich source of information, but they are also a potential source of abuse. There are blogs written in the spirit of sharing, but there are also those that are self-serving. Fame in exchange of free service or little pay. Unfortunately, only experience will tell the difference, when what was written does not even parallel the actual experience. 

Forums also offer a wealth of information. The trick is to filter reliable comments from those that are not. Try to read all of the comments of the person of interest and analyze the general trend of the thread. Are most of them positive? Or are most of them negative? Comments are also laced with much self-interest. A negative comment may have been written because the client wishes to keep the masseur to themselves, or they may have been written because the masseur did not give in to the request of the client. I have encountered more than a few times where clients threaten a masseur with a bad review when they do not agree to their "special" pricing. Positive comments are not so innocent as well. Some promote a masseur that they have a love interest with, or when they are given special treatment.

Always read everything with a grain of salt. Remember that experiences vary from person to person. In the end, you can only truly rely on your own experience.  

Tip #4: Negotiations

So after the grueling task of choosing the right masseur. We now come to the nitty gritty part of the ordeal. For novice spa goers, please go to section 4.1. For the experienced, please go to section 4.2.

Hahaha!

4.1. The novice spa goer. Ask the masseur to step out of the spa so you may speak to them privately. Settle negotiations there and then. Ask how much will they ask for and what does that include. Be clear and concise. This way, you may be spared from the gulpe-de-gulat quotations or limitations that you will find out mid-session. You may also ask the mamasan for help in negotiating if they are willing.

4.2. The experienced. Negotiations take place mid-session during the transition from massage to ES. This tactic bears in mind that masseurs would rather agree to a lower price than to end up with nothing after the hard work of the massage, so either agree to your price or lose everything. The advantage of this negotiation tactic is that you may trick them to agreeing to a lower price, but be prepared to also walk out... unsatisfied.

And remember, it is within your right to say no.

Tip #5: In house service or outcall

Personally, I prefer outcall services. Not only does it offer more protection from raids, but masseurs also tend to be less hurried and less awkward when privacy is provided by more than just a curtain door. Spa owners also instruct masseurs to wrap up a session in an hour and you have less leeway when they are hovering outside your love cubicle. The usual bar fine is five hundred pesos, but for me, the extra two hundred (total of seven hundred) is worth the advantage. 

Tip#6: Price

ES plus bar fine usually range from one thousand to three thousand, depending which spa you go to, also the kind of service you are requesting. I usually put a cap on three thousand, and only if the masseur is beginning to haunt my dreams! Hihihi!

And parang awa niyo na, wag na kayong hihigit pa diyan! Paslangin ang mga economic saboteurs!!!

Now to answer the other questions I have yet to address:

1. How to contact the masseurs?

Go to the spa!


2. Are they choosy with their clients?

Hahahaha!

After speaking with a lot of masseurs, appearance only plays a small factor. What is paramount are cleanliness, attitude and generosity.


3. Are they safe?

Most massage parlors require their masseurs to have a health check every two weeks or they may not report for duty. 

But hey! Always practice safe sex! 

Haaaayyy!!! Pagod na ako!


I hope these answers your questions. :)

P.S. I would appreciate it if you write down your name when you comment. Haha! it kind of gets tiring when you address the person as Anonymous May 13, 2014 at 9:59pm! Hihihi!!!