The washing machine jutsu

Lately, nagkaroon ako ng major crush sa isang forumer na I met (SailorSpade). So here is a preview of a full blown carinoso panliligaw - ManilaSpanatic style!

Monday

ManilaSpanatic: Sailor...

SailorSpade: Hi, MS. Bakit?

ManilaSpanatic: Sex tayo!

SailorSpade: MS naman!

Tuesday

ManilaSpanatic: Sex tayo!

SailorSpade: MS naman!

Wednesday

ManilaSpanatic: Tsup tsup!

SailorSpade: MS! Wag po!!!

Thursday

ManilaSpanatic: You can put it anywhere!

SailorSpade: MS!!! Ano ba!!!



Imbyerna!

Dadating din ang araw when my persistence will win over his integrity!

Charaught!

Hahahaha!

So habang pilit pinaninindigan ni SailorSpade ang no lason policy and pseudo-virginal status niya, nagdecide akong mamasyal muli sa aking 2nd home, the infamous Kamias-Kamuning circuit.

Appearance: I've been curious with this ex-bikini pageant model ever since he was introduced by 96essensa spa and it would seem that a lot of our fellow sisterettes were curious too. Trying to squeeze into his busy schedule was difficult until... he was involved in a pricing controversy. So, while most will start avoiding him like the plague, I, on the other hand, saw an opportunity.

Time to fly to Kamias!

Hihihi!

True enough, when I landed at the doorsteps of 96essensa, I saw Ash sitting by the reception table, looking sad and defeated.

Shucks!

There there... you can cry on my bosoms!!!

Hihihi!

Clean looking. Ash is not a head-turner. If basing on his looks alone, I would be undecided. It was when he spoke that pushed my position from a maybe to a yes. There is also something weird about his hair and I am very tempted to shave it off. But he showed me some pictures of him with shorter hair and we've decided that the current hairdon't is the lesser of two evils!

Hahaha! 

Demeanor: Warm, welcoming and humble. Madaling makagaanan ng loob. The short conversation we had turned my "I'm not sure" into "Get in the car.. NOW!"

Hahaha!

Massage: If you are after a good massage, then this is not the guy for you. Not to say that there is no effort, but his strokes do scream "I am a novice."

The meat between his thighs: I've read that he is a reggie.

Kaya hindi na ako nagstretching ng masseter and buccinator muscles.

Reggie lang pala e.

No sweat!

I don't even have to unhinge my jaw!

Charaught!

Hahaha!

So tsup tsup!  tsup tsup!  tsup tsup!  tsup tsup!

... ... ...

Teka teka teka!

Bakit napupuno na ang bibig ko?

Nilabas ko sa esophagus ang pinasok na earthworm at nagulat ng makita ito naging anaconda.

MS: Ummm...bakit sabi nila reggie ka daw? Parang hindi naman ito reggie.

Ash: Sir, madami naman po kasi hindi po marunong sumubo...

MS: So what are you saying?!?!

Ash: Magaling po kayo!

AAAAAAYYYYY!!!!!

Bigyan ng jacket si kuya for knowing how to appreciate the finer things in life!

ECHOS!

Hahaha!

Pero wait! Paano naman ang mga sisterettes na walang fellatio masters degree?

So fellow sisterettes, para hindi madisappoint, painumin ng:

To be taken 2 hours before keme!

Hahaha!

ES: Ash is new to this trade so he has yet to develop skills, smoothness of transition and etc, but he does make up for it with effort. 

At kaloka ang effort ah!

Para akong naligo ng laway mula leeg hangang niffols!

Hihihi!

Overall: Ash is nice but he may have listened to bad counsel regarding how he sets his price. For me, the important thing was I saw the willingness to listen to the point of view of the client. Hopefully, he will no longer be involved in another pricing controversy.

How is the chameleon?

Satisfied

Will I come back for seconds? Yes.

Awareness

Isang mapayapang gabi muli sa buhay ni ManilaSpanatic...

Chupstogo: Butiki?


MS: Yes, malansang lollipop. 


Chupstogo: Pa-HIV test ka na.


Biglang nasamid ang nilalasap na coke zero sa lalamunan ko!


MS: Excuse moi??? Ano pinapahiwatig mo? What is ze meaning of zizz? Na isa akong higad? Na isa akong kalapating mababa ang lipad? I will have you know na I am still a V-I-R-G-I....


Chupstogo: Bakla! Ano ang tawag mo dito???

MS: ...


...


...


... 


Given the line of evidence... you have probable cause...


Chupstogo: ILLUSYONADA! Isa ka nang guilty without chance of parole!!!


Salot ang lahat ng lollipop sa balat ng lupa!!!

Well, since I choose to believe that my dear dear frenemy has nothing but good intentions for me, pumayag na akong magpasama sa malanding lollipop.


Nagset kami ng date ng maharot na lollipop para sa pagsusulit ng buhay.


Pagdating doon...

MS: Pashneya ka! Saan saan mo nanaman ako dinadala? Ano ba ang meron sa inyo ng bff Gab mo at ang hihilig ninyo sa mga kidnap-for-ransom buildings?

Chupstogo: Maganda sa loob yan, peksman!

Pagpasok sa pseudo-bilanguan doorsteps...

MS: AYOKO NA!!! AYOKO NA!!! Parang Jason Spa!!! Dito mo na ata gagampanan ang pagnanasa mo sa akin! I will have you know that I know ballet... este taekwondo... the point is mataas ang sipa ko!!!

Chupstogo: Ikaw ang sisipain ko diyan e!

In fairness naman sa makating lollipop, nagsasabi naman pala ng totoo.

Despite the katakotakot na exterior, bonggacious naman pala ang mismong facility.


After being greeted by a welcoming staff, I was asked to fill out a form na I tried to answer as honestly as possible.


Sana sunugin nila ang papel afterwards... hihihi!


Pagkatapos, dinala na nila ako sa blood extraction room para makunan ng dugo.

At dahil type ko si kuya medical technologist, inalok ko na din ang aking semen for testing lalo na kung siya din ang mageextract.


Medical technologist: Sir, hindi po kami nagtetest ng semen.


MS: Oh! I just wanted to be thorough!


Echos!


After ako tusukan ni fafa medical technologist, isang peer counselor naman ang nagdala sa akin sa counseling room para kausapin at bigyan ng leksyon tungkol sa HIV/AIDS.

Halos inihampas ata sa akin ang HIV/AIDS visual aids ng peer counselor ng tinanong niya "How many sexual partners have you had?" at ang sinagot ko ay infinity.


Ateh, I'm just being honest!


Charot!


The processing of the blood samples will take 2 hours and you can get the results on the same day.


So eto na, lumipas na ang dalawang oras at tinawag na ako ni peer counselor hawak hawak ang envelope with my test results.


Biglang umagos ang cold sweats, nanlamig ang kamay at nagflashback ang washing machine justsu, wheel barrow, helicopter, cowgirl at reverse cowgirl, waterfall, spin cycle, stairway to heaven, pretzel, butter churner, etc.


Time to face the music...

.

.

.

.

I am sssoooo happppyyyyyy!!!!!


Halos magcartwheel at jumping jacks ako sa saya...


But of course, hindi pwede, masisira ang inaalagaang image...


So ng tinanong ng peer counselor how did I feel about the results...


MS: It's nothing unexpected.


After all,


I am...

The virgin queen.


Chos!


Details:

Love Yourself Anglo is at 715-A Shaw Blvd, Mandaluyong, 1552 Metro Manila
Open on Wednesdays to Sundays from 12pm to 7pm
Closed on Mondays and Tuesdays
Contact number is 0915-366 5683

Faith restored

Punctuality: He was 25 minutes late.

Appearance: I have a short fuse for tardiness. I have an even shorter fuse for instances where I receive a text message from the masseur 10 minutes before the agreed time that he has yet to leave and will inform me when he is about to. So I had half a mind to cancel the appointment but I decided to carry on. Thirty-five minutes later, he came, I saw and...

Hahaha! I just can't stay mad at a handsome face. 

After the recent mishap with toucheaven spa, where the masseur who came was a horrendously disfigured version of what they are advertising over the internet, I began to have doubts in online booking. But thankfully, this time, the man who came had a face who by looking at, and I can't stop smiling. The front teeth were noticeably protruding a little forward but overall he was pleasant to look at. 

Body: Obviously, from the photographs, he is a fine specimen for those looking for the "beefy" type models, so I'll be speaking more of what the camera does not show. One of his best features is the sinfully rounded buttocks, a fact that was shoved right to my face while he was removing his pants, when he bent over and unintentionally presented his wonderful behind right before my eyes. I was about to sink my teeth right into his butt cheeks when he turned around and said:

"Start na tayo."

Damn!

Hindi bale... mamaya!

Hihihi!

Demeanor: Ah chemistry... it's been a long time since we've seen each other. Conversations with Paulo were spontaneous and light-hearted.

Massage: Adequate. I inquired if he brought oil or lotion and he said "No."


HAH!

Walang palusot sa isang Hada Queen!


Hahaha!


Char!


Strokes were alright but do not expect spa quality. In fact, I am having problems remembering the massage at all. It was forgettable. 

The one-eyed snake: A little above average and curves slightly to the right. Not the most perfect of peckers but no complaints here.

ES: He laid beside me while I was switching the TV to some porn. He turned to face me, grabbed my chest then the tip of his tongue began lightly tasting the peak of my nipples then slowly widened his gape to include the areolas. I appreciated the beefy type body kneeling on all fours so I reached out to his family jewels and proceeded to 'milk the cow'. His face came closer to mine and started nibbling my lower lip and slowly inserted his tongue to meet mine.


"Sir, sumusubo ba kayo?"


"Tinatanong pa ba yan?"


Hahaha!


I instructed him to lay down and to reach for the four corners of the bed so I could imagine him tied in a spread eagle position. I stepped back for a bit so I could look at his entirety. A pause like the calm before the storm. I lunged at his neck while my hands grabbed his chest tightly and pinched his nipples while my lips were diving into his neck. I could smell the musk in his perfume. The force of the sudden motion of me jumping on top of him must have startled him as he let out a loud "Ooh!" and I could see his arms and legs abducting from where I had intended them to be. So I took his arms with both my hands and placed them on top of his head with my left hand pinning down both his hands while my right was grabbing his dick. I looked at his face and saw a look of bewilderment, probably wondering what else was I going to do to him. I forced my lips onto his and with all the grace of a wild dog, slid down to his chest and started biting his nipples. I could hear 'oohs' and 'aahs' from the pain and pleasure. My hands were still pinning down his while the other still grabbing his dick.

I knelt before him once more at his feet then forcefully pried open his legs to expose the meat between them. It was raging hard and inviting my lips to take part. I dove in. "Aaaahhh shet sarap!" My mouth was going back and forth, on his dick then on his groin, on his dick then on his tummy and so on. Then I went for his perineal region. He liked it. I saw his back arched and his head flexed back as I lathered that space between his scrotum and anus.

Feeling a little exhausted, I decided to let him take the lead. There is a certain maneuver I usually request from masseurs, which I will leave to your imagination, and most usually fail to do it to my liking. The one who came close was JD, yet he could also not sustain it for long. Paulo was able to perform my request to my liking. I leave the rest to your imagination. The last position we assumed was where he was sitting on top of me while we switched turns jacking him off. Finally, he let out a moan of satisfaction, signaling the point of final release. He fell back onto the bed... exhausted.

Yet, I was not done. I took advantage of his temporary weakened state and sensitive post-release penis and shoved it to my mouth once more.

"Sir, wag po... nangingilo."

I ignored his please and continued to feed my desires. He tried removing my head and closing his thighs which I blocked and forced open once more. He had no choice but to bear the continuing assault.

Overall: I am satisfied.

How is the chameleon: 

Wonderful

Will I come back for seconds? Yes 

Expectations

It's confirmed.

Dumating na ang araw na kinakatakutan ko...

...

One day, nadecide kong mag apparition sa quaint little house ng Touch of Delight.

ManilaSpanatic with the royal entourage

Isa isang pinarada ni dear Paulina ang kanyang mga stable boys.

Well, sa totoo lang, si Jelson talaga ang pakay ko that night.

Pero gusto ko lang ipaalam sa mga boys that they were in the presence of royalty!

Char!

Hahaha!

So konting pagpapanggap na namimili kuno para hindi nila isipin na inabala ko sila para sa wala, at tinuro ko na ang victim... este... royal consort... for the night.

MS: One Jelson, please. Hihihi

Paulina: Ay wag yan, your royal highness! Please choose another.

MS: [Startled] Huh? Vhaket???

Paulina: Baka hindi niya kayanin ang mga pangangailangan mo, my Queen.

MS: At bakit mo alam ang mga pangangailangan ko?!?!?!

Paulina: Eh kasi... sabi nila...

MS: ANO??? Ansabeh ng mga hampas lupang balak dumihan ang aking refutashyen??? Ano naman ang sinabi nilang pinapagawa ko sa mga masahista?

Paulina: Teh... parang ganito:

MS: SHUTANGINAMESH!!! Paano nila nalaman?!?... este... Isang kasinungalingan yan!!!

FUTEK!

It's confirmed.

Sira na ang aking image as the virgin queen!

Char!

Hahaha!

MS: Haist! O siya siya! I am the master of improvisation. Ano ba ang kaya ng talent mo?

Pinalapit ni Paulina si fafa Jelson at inabot sa akin ang kanyang menu...

Please do not take this literally! Hahaha!

...

...

...

At tulad ng mga madidilim ng ulap bago bumuhos ang matinding ulan

Dumating ang realization na matutulog akong...

Gutom

Hahaha!

Appearance: Let's face it. Despite the reputation, despite the infamous limitations in ES, it is undeniable that Jelson has the X-factor. I've been to Touch of Delight quite a few times already when I embark on my pilgrimage along Kamias, Kamuning, E. Rodriguez and Scout Yolanda, and every time I stop by, I always try to catch a glimpse of Jelson. 

Ewan ko ba...

Basta kinikilig ako pag nakikita ko siya.

Hihihi!

Massage: Dito ako napakanta ng "Bakit ngayon ka lang?"! It was goooood! He was well-trained. He was fantastic. I have read a few comments that no matter how good a masseur is, he could never compare to a legit spa. Ang masasabi ko lang ay:

Mga teh! Saan ba kayo nagpapamasahe?

I have been to legit spas and I have encountered masseurs that are not as good as him. So please, if you know where this legit spa nirvana is, let me know!

Hahaha!

The fifth appendage: Aaaayyyy!!! Ano nangyari? Nagkacellulitis ka ba sa ari at hindi na humupa ang edema? Baka makuha pa ng furosemide! Char! 

It was in the shape of an ice cream... literally.

ES: To be fair, I was duly informed that there will be no kissing, no receptive fellatio, no intercourse and no fun... CHAR!!! Hahaha But with all things considered, I did enjoy seeing him writhe while tonguing his nipples as my hands crept from his chest to his tummy, his dick, his balls and his perineum and watch him explode with his back arched with a loud moan. 

Overall: The encounter could have been a complete and utter disaster, if it were not for Jelson and Paulina being forthright with what he can and cannot do. He gave his terms and I agreed to them and I chose to respect his arbitrary limitations. I do not regret the experience with Jelson but truthfully, it does leave me wishing there would be more. With that being said, I am not writing him off just yet. I still could not deny that I will crave for him once more.

How is the chameleon?

Confused

The Wait

Nakakaloka ang wait list!!!

This must be the longest wait I had to endure just to secure a time slot with a model. 10 days of pent up libido is simply not good for your health. Char! Hahaha! So when we finally met... I was... well, you can imagine! Hahaha! And it does not help na nagpapacute pa ang loka!

MS: Anong nginingiti mo diyan? Tingin mo makukuha mo ako sa ngiti? 10 days!!! 10 freaking days!!! Wala ng chitchat! HUUUBBBAAAADDD!!!!

MS: Ano itetch? Patintero? Ano pa ang ginagawa ng kamay mo diyan?

Jayson: Ok na ba ito, sir?

MS: Hmmm... it's a start!


Hahaha!


Pre-negotiations: We actually already agreed to meet earlier than the actual schedule, however 2 days before the agreed time slot, I received a text from him.


Jayson: Sir, hindi po pala ako pwede sa araw na yun.

MS: VHAKET?!?!?! What iz ze meaning of zis?!?!?!?!

Jayson: Nakapag oo na po pala kasi ako sa iba. Pasensya na po kayo.

MS: ?!?!?!?!?!?! Sino ang hampas lupang nakikiagaw sa schedule ko?!?!?!?!?!

Jayson: Si Zulie po.

Pashneya!!!

Agad agad kong nilabas ang magic cauldron at sinimulan ang chanting!

Haha! Char!

Appearance: I think there is no denying that Jayson is good-looking, to the point that even those who swore that they would never hire a model who is not straight were willing to make an exception. Hahaha! But personally, I think he looks better in pictures. In other words, he is handsome, but he is also extremely photogenic.

Punctuality: He came 20 minutes before our agreed time. Naloka tuloy ako at sinundo siya nang basa pa ang buhok ko. 

Oh well, might as well make the best out of the situation.

Makapag apparition nga in my wet hair look!

Hahaha! Chos!

Attitude: Jayson is extremely soft-spoken and getting a few words out of him is like digging for gold. But he is courteous and well-mannered. (Hahaha! Wala na akong masabi! Man of few words kasi! Hahaha!)

Massage: Having received no formal training or experience in spas and massage parlors, Jayson learned the basics of the art through watching youtube videos. Hahaha! And it actually shows. Strokes rendered were not smooth and technique was little to non-existent. I could feel that he was recalling from memory what he has learned, therefore, it lacked spontaneity. But the perplexing thing was, I felt relaxed and satisfied after the massage. Perhaps, it was due to the fact that though he lacked technical skills, he made up for it with sincerity and it was heartfelt.

The question of all questions: Length is above reggie and girth is respectable.

ES: Ah!!! Hearing people going on and on again that it was the best sex they have ever had was justified. And coming from some of them who are certified haliparot higad queens, it is high praise. My body literally received a saliva bath. There was no surface that was safe from Jayson's tongue and clutches. 

Overall: Jayson certainly knows how to provide a good time while keeping a professional relationship. I have no complaints regarding his attitude or performance and I would gladly recommend him to others. However, personally, I am currently searching for a back-up KFC and a model with the potential to provide that temporary relief has yet to surface. This should not be misconstrued as a point against Jayson, it is just that my current KFC somehow managed to ruin other men for me.

Will I come back for seconds? Ordinarily, yes. But the search for a back-up KFC continues.

How is the chameleon?

Satisfied